Happy Almost APRIL everyone-
We literally have 4 days until we are home free. The warm weather is coming.
For all of my readers in New England- you can agree with me on this. Our weather patterns have been absurd this year. And I LOVE the SNOW. So I was happy again to get a gust of white powder on my doorstep the last 24 hours.
Yesterday marked the day of the most EPIC snow day I have had since I was in college. There was no one on the roads- my friends and I met up for some coffee and bought large amounts of delicious food to prepare. We spend the day making music and eating well.
It was a day to never forget. The simplicity was, as if- I had settled back into infancy. There was not a care in the world. All smiles. Everyone singing and laughing. Telling stories. Smiling.
Life patterns challenging and initiating a change of existence.
Yesterday, I had brought my camera, my computer- was about to pull it out to do some work - when a friend reminded me that " She was there to spend time with me" .
Which means me. Not me on my computer or phone. Me not worrying about what I had to do. Me not wondering about other existence besides the people that were there in our space. And my dog who was having a felid day in the snow outside.
Yesterday was a perfect day. It brought me back into the now. This life moment.
It is so important for me to remember How each and every moment is perfect exactly the way it is. And it is SO POWERFUL when I SHOW UP AS ME. Not me with an agenda or a 1000 other things I have to get done.
It was so fulfilling to wake up and think- me as present tense is the Happiest and most authentic self I have.
I had no attachment to the moment- no mind games- no plots.
The day proceeded into me teaching a private yoga class to my friends and a warm meal - playing music until the late evening.
The perfect end to a winter tale.
Winter and snow can remind me of how life used to be. How I didn't look forward to it. Snow and Cold meant for me - isolation- depression- lack of motivation- sickness.
Slowly through years of working in the Snowboarding culture in Vermont - I was able to transform this season- from a time of being lackadaisical - to being motivated and use the time as a platform of creation.
But it wasn't always like this- and it has taken me years of preparation and invasive work on myself to understand this beauty I call life.
I walked around in the gloom and doom of complaining on what I wanted my life to be, how it was never going to be perfect. You see- from a very young age- I set my standards. I was a performer, so I wanted to be famous. I wanted to be a famous singer, with worldly recognition.
Now that is setting the bar high. And obviously, having this bar ( as high as it was) always set me up for disappointment, for unless I was winning a Grammy every year- I was not happy.
I was living in a dream world. Of unfathomable happiness.. I didn't even have a record deal!
This story life - these unattainable beliefs ( especially because I would hate being famous, now that I know me ) ruled my happiness. Nothing I ever did was good enough. No job was good. No friends were good enough. No School was where I wanted to be. I got burnt out from this dream of being a famous singer.
It left me feeling lonely and unappreciative.
This was around the time I found a camera.
And I kept writing.
Eventually I started taking more regular Yoga Classes - I even took some graphic design courses. - All leading me to the loves of my life's purpose. - Soon enough I decided to start singing again. -Did my first Yoga Teacher Training.
Now here I am. Mixing all passions together & getting paid for it :)
Even in the winter.
Loving every minute of it. Even enough to give it a days rest to spend quality time with the people that I love. Doing what I love for fun.
This kind of life was impossible years ago. And today it happened yesterday. And today. And hopefully tomorrow.
I feel so gosh darned blessed.
I also know that nothing is unfathomable anymore. One of my favorite people, a friend, a peer, role model - has one of the most inspirational stories I've ever heard- started selling her book out of her car - became a New York Times best selling author - and now has an A- list Cast and she is making a feature film!
Dreams can come true.
It's about believing that anything is possible. Setting life up in a way where there is room for possibility. Where you breath it - in and out every day. And just watch that "Yellow Brick Road" will be there - as everything clears and your path will be as evident as first prints on a new fallen snow.
Peace, Love & Namaste :)
Ps: Enjoy this quick little recording I did this afternoon <3