Goodbye is never forever.

Over the years I have lived in several states, attended various educational institutions and gathered with friends from all areas of life. These pyramids of individuals creating a quilt of loves around the world. I am so fortunate to know so many amazing souls. Everyone of them- having a very different and distinguishable trait. 

For awhile, getting away from my web of entanglements seemed like a chore. Winding up on the other side of the world, and knowing the person sitting at the table next to me. That kind of stuff happened to me all the time. 

There have been times where I have taken it for granted. Rolled my eyes ( so to speak). 

For the past few months I have whirled my way into this place where isolation is my best friend. Little to no conversation. Silence is what I've been seeking. 

I thought it is what would cure my unrooted mind. Maybe if I fight the current, I will change me. I can surmise my life into simple, easy, sterile. 

And whats been happening is that in this process, I have been taking all the color. The fascination. The surprise out of everything. 

As a child till now, I have never been one for goodbyes. Everytime I have left someplace, I have cried. Every partner I have left it has been as if someone has died. Thinking it is all going to be for forever. When in- fact - it has been quite the opposite in my fortunate life. Everyone comes around as if we are just on our own orbit spinning until gravity fails and we bump into each other again. 

I have never been without the love. I have never been without connection.

I feel so blessed. How did I get this gift? but more importantly, why have I been trying to loose it?