A long time ago someone once said, " Ashley, never change for anyone, you have a vibrance that is very rare. Keep it."
It was from a teacher of mine, who spent a year dealing with me. Unadulterated me. The one that deflects commands and laughs about commitment. Fully knowing that what lies on the other side of this deflect is this curiousness for normalcy.
I never have had a time or a place where I felt that normalcy was the life that I wanted to create.
I always envisioned a life with an abundance. Not knowing that on the other side of abundance is hard work, determination, strength, creativity, and happiness.
It seems that in my times of despair I forget the paradigm; what you want takes work.
From being a successful business owner some people might say, " You must be exhausted with all that you do."
A few weeks ago I hit that button hard. I am exhausted. Slipped into the hole. Not wanting to get out. I felt that I couldn't reach the top. But I guess here I am. Slowly sneaking out. It hasn't gotten me yet.
I guess I am writing you to tell you this. Yes, I am human. I feel the normalcy in my life now. I understand how to smile when you don't want to. And to laugh when you feel like crying. I can mimic unconscious conversations - but I don't want to be like that.
I'm hitting the reset button here and now. Here it goes.
And I am holding You and myself accountable for the courage to be different. To break the mold and model.
A lot of what I am saying might seem like gibber jabber. If you can hear me on this lets pray together to JUMP out. Create something new. Focus on a new project. Kickstart yourself to a better well-being.
We both know it is going to be the only way out.
Peace love & courage.