Today marks the day of 31 days without boys.
WOW. Can you believe it?
Now some of you could be asking.. Ashley wow? What does that even mean?
This means no eye contact. No number taking.. No flirting.
Casual conversation = Acceptable.
Friendships = Acceptable.
I, like many other women, will attest to the truth. I have ruled my life in order to "manifest" the proper mate.
Guess what Ladies ( and Gents) ... truth be known You've got no control.
I learned that the amount of energy I put into being skinny, pretty, talented, "Worthy" - in the face of attracting a "mate" is just a waste of time. I learned that that kind of manufactured perfection- will only attract one thing.. A MAN WHO IS DOING THE SAME THING.
Do I want a guy where the first things I say about them are " Skinny, handsome, "full of themselves" and "worthy"? HA. Nope.
What I want is love. And the only way to attract LOVE is to be love. To be is if love already exists for you. Magical awareness of true self comes from the love of oneself. The love of each and every moment.
To look backwards is a waste of time and energy- to look forwards is just living in the dream. To stay in the moment and to really be LOVE. Thats the truth.
The bitter truth is now I have to get real with myself. How am I showing in up the world? If I want to be love.. then that means.. I have to ask myself:
Whats my living situation? What are my friendships like? What is my family like? What AM I bringing to the table?
I've had to look at my life in the mirror and be like- woah wait. If I am bringing "this" to the table- Why do I keep going backwards? Or settling for people that don't want this life as BAD as me!
is the biggest thing I have in this month- in this life.
So what are you choosing? Who are you choosing to surround yourself with? Or what?
I've learned that I have all the choice in the world on how I want to displace my energy. I know I have a thousand things I want to do / fulfill. Taking all the energy that I have and pursuing my dreams and surrounding myself with friends who are doing the same thing is really where I find myself. And with that new mentality -
Now thats a love that sets me free.